We all know that it isn't hard for an adult to worry about the things of the future. We sometimes worry about how we are going to afford to send our children to college, or pay for a wedding, or be able to ride alongside our teenage son or daughter as they learn to drive. How will we afford to feed the boys as they grow and eat us out of house and home? What will we do the first time a boy comes to the door to take our daughter out on a date?
I also know that there are things that kids worry about too. Most kids worry about things like...."will I have friends this year in school?" Or, "what if a monster comes out from under my bed tonight and eats my toes off" (because they are dangling off the edge of the bed)? Or, "why does my mom buy my clothes at Wal-Mart...I'm so not cool!" Most of the things that kids worry or stress about are silly and don't amount to much.
I found out,though, over the past few weeks that my five year old daughter worries about her much distant future....alot! As we were in the bathroom and I was blow drying her hair, we had a conversation like this:I also know that there are things that kids worry about too. Most kids worry about things like...."will I have friends this year in school?" Or, "what if a monster comes out from under my bed tonight and eats my toes off" (because they are dangling off the edge of the bed)? Or, "why does my mom buy my clothes at Wal-Mart...I'm so not cool!" Most of the things that kids worry or stress about are silly and don't amount to much.
AL: "How will I know when I am supposed to be a mommy?"
Me: "Well, you will have a baby in your tummy, so you will know you will be a mommy."
AL: "But, HOW will I KNOW I am supposed to have a baby in my tummy?"
It was almost like she thought she would get a letter telling her it was time to be a mommy!
ME: "Annalisa, you will be married first before you are a mommy, so that is a long way away."
AL: (Now with more worry) "How will I know when I am supposed to get married?"
ME: "Well, you will go to college and probably meet someone there that you will fall in love with and he will ask you to marry him."
AL:"Will you help me find my husband?"
ME:"Sure, but you won't want me to."
AL:"Yes I will or I won't know if I am supposed to get married."
At this point she was actually crying great big crocodile tears--she was so worried that she might miss the sign that she was supposed to get married, then she would never be a mommy.
I told her that was a long way away and we would deal with it when it got closer, then we finished drying her hair. Whew! I got her to stop worrying about marriage and parenthood, so we were good to go!
But, just a few nights ago she brought up college!
AL:"College is a long way away for me."
Ben: "Well then, you better start walking!"
AL:"No, it is a long TIME away for me. But when I go to college I will sleep there."
Me:"Yes, you might stay in a dorm or apartment and live where you go to college."
We then kissed and hugged good-night, and Ben and I went to our room. Not 5 minutes later we could hear Annalisa crying. She sometimes cries because she thinks we forgot to hug or kiss her, so I asked Ben to go see what was wrong with her.
Ben:"What's wrong Princess tooth?" He has been calling her that since she got her crown put on.
AL: (wailing) "When I go to college you won't be there!!!"
Ben:"Annalisa, that is a long time from now."
AL:"But you WON'T BE THERE!!"
Ben then came in to our room trying not to laugh and asked me to come help. I went in and began to talk to Annalisa about how she didn't have to stay in a dorm at college. I told her she could stay with us the first year or two if that's what she wanted....but now she was determined that she wasn't going to college at all!
AL:"Why do people even go to college?"
ME:"So they can get good jobs and make some money so they can have a house to live in."
AL:"But I want to live with you!"
ME:"OK....that's fine....you can live with us."
AL:"I don't want to go to college."
ME:"Why don't we just get through Kindergarten?"
Ben:"Anyway, Annalisa, when you go to college, Mom and I are going to be old and we will probably move in with you so you can take care of US."
Now she is stopping the crying....
ME:"Yeah, and then you will have to give me a birthday party and make me a cake."
AL: (sitting up with big bright eyes) "And I will make you a Hannah Montana birthday cake!!"
ME: "That sounds great! Now, go to sleep."
She was fine after that....probably had great dreams about making her mom a Hannah Montana birthday cake!
It just amazes me the things that worry her! My boys have never worried about marriage, parenthood or college....the most that they worry about is whether or not they will get to play the X-box, Wii, or baseball with their friends. I definitely think boys are easier to deal with! But I do love Annalisa, and at least I know she almost has her future planned out...before 1st grade!!