March 10, 2010

Who Am I, By the Grace of God?

I have joined a ladies bible study with a few other women from our church, and we meet on Wednesday mornings.  We are going to study Ephesians, but after 3 weeks of meetings we have only read the 1st half of verse 1 so far!  This isn't because we aren't focused.....the first week we talked and got to know each other a little better, and the past two weeks we have watched a video with speaker John Lynch. I really enjoyed the video and gleaned a lot out of it, but what I have been thinking on the most is the question that was asked of us the first week....."Who are you, by the grace of God?"
This question was prompted after our reading of the 1st half of the 1st verse of Ephesians, "Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the grace of God..."  some versions read, "by the will of God".  Our leader told us about how she gets so excited about those words.....Paul knew who he was by the grace/will of God, so she asked us who we are by the grace/will of God.  The first thing I said I am is a princess!  That's right!! I am a child of the KING and that makes me a princess. I talked about how we (the children of God) don't often live like we are children of a KING.  We often live like we are the peasants in the street begging for acceptance and the forgiveness that we have ALREADY BEEN GIVEN!!!  I told her about how when we are young girls we play like we are princesses all day long, and then once we really, truly become one we don't even accept it as fully as we should.
The other ladies talked about how they are wives, mothers, day care workers, teachers, soccer moms, bill payers, cooks, maids....etc.  Our leader said that she wasn't going to let them get away that easily.....those are roles we play but that isn't who we are.  So, they said they were going to have to think about it more to see if they could figure out who they are.
The more I thought about it the more I thought that at this point in my life I am a learner by the grace/will of God. 
I am learning to be a mother to a 6 month old and a middle schooler.  It isn't that I have never been the mother to a 6 month old before, but I have never been the mother of a middle schooler before....and definitely not at the same time as being the mother of a 6 month old!
I am learning to knit!  I think that the craftiness that God has put in me is allowing me to learn new things at this point in my life.
I am learning to teach my kids how to be godly young men and women.
I am learning to be a stay-at-home mom again after having worked outside of the home for the past 6 years.
I am learning to be more relaxed about things that seem important to me but can really wait until another day.
I am learning to be a better wife.....Ben and I have been married 14 years, and I am finally learning not to take things personally and to let him be who he is by the grace of God.
I am learning to be the wife of a worship pastor.....because of this I am looked at and watched more closely than ever before.
I am learning that God isn't keeping tally of how many times per day I start a prayer and never "finish" it, or how many times I sit down to do bible study only to be interrupted by a child, or even how many minutes I spend in bible study every day.....He cares about my heart and the time that I DO spend with Him even if it is at 3 a.m. while I am nursing a baby.
Yes, at this time in my life I am a learner and I really don't think I will ever stop learning. I look forward to a time that I can take the things I learn and someday use them to teach others......because another thing I am by the grace/will of God is a teacher.  I pray now that I can practice and change because of the things I am learning and for the opportunity to use them to teach others.


Mike said...

I'm proud that you are 20 years ahead of me in your journey with the LORD. Keep learning about Him....and as suredly as you think you have one iota figured out, He'll show that you don't know a thing. :)It's great having a God that is not predictable.

Dr Eva said...

I just love you!! Thank you for making a pregnant woman cry. ;) (we know that isn't very hard to do) What an inspiring thing for me to read. Thank you so much for sharing and reminding me of things I had forgotten. I SO miss you and pray that you guys will move to DFW. ;)